To Have and Hold (The Club #19) Read online

  And my pussy was begging for a fuck.

  "Brock," I whispered, already too turned on. I had this image of Adam and Brock taking me at the same time. My throat became dry.

  Until the remembered derisive laughter that followed be all the way from Houston threw a bucket of humiliation at me once more.

  Chapter Three

  "Shall we sit?" I somehow managed. -I was so horny, but the maniacal laughter from my past dampened my libido. I just couldn't seem to get away from it. The craving, the hunger was still inside me. For once I wished it would push to the fore and drowned the incessant screech of the voices who called me a freak and a whore.

  Brock's eyes darted to Adam, who remained behind me. His grin never left his face. He hadn’t let go of my hand either. Stepping back, he sat down inside the booth once more, pulling me gently towards him. Adam followed after me. Damn, they hadn't even touched me, and I was already a live wire. If they both whispered in my ear at the same time, would I combust? Would they allow me to hold their cocks in my hands and jerk them until they came?

  My eyes lowered and my breathing increased. Brock tilted my chin towards him, his mouth so close, his breath hot against my lips. But he didn't kiss me. Instead, he trailed his finger down the column of my throat. Lower he went. Lower to the top of my breasts. My breathing was coming hard and fast now.

  Adam turned my face towards him.

  "Do you like what Brock is doing to you?"

  I looked up. Adam's gaze was heated, dark. I jerked a nod. Oh man, I was getting wetter.

  My gaze frantically darted at the people around us, to see if they were looking. But they were caught up in their own eroticism. It was both overt and covert. But the sensual gestures such as fingers trailing over shoulder blades, bodies leaning towards each other in the dark until somebody disappeared under the table, was a dead giveaway. The music around us turned sensual. The scent and sense of sex was pervasive. And that was the point. My imagination was running wild about what was happening under the tables when I could see the sheer ecstasy on the faces of those fortunate enough to be serviced.

  Only people in suits wandered about, making sure that people were okay. Some stood just beside couples smooching until they broke and moved away. I saw two men in suits usher a group of twenty-somethings none too gently. The group scuffled with the suits. More suits arrived and shoved them towards the club's entrance while a female suit had her phone to her ear. The surround sound hiked my pulse up, the need to move and writhe on the dance floor was strong.

  "Let's dance." I waited for Adam to stand once more so I could get out of the booth. I pulled them both to the dance floor, the flashing lights coloring my skin in prismatic blues, and greens. I started swaying my hips slowly moving from side to side. Adam’s lips quirked into a sexy smile as he reached for me. His hips moved against mine. His hair glinted and his face sharpened under the lights. I watched his face, watched his nose flare, scenting my arousal which permeated the air. I draped my arms over his shoulders, my mouth closing in to his when I felt Brock behind me. I turned to look up into deep green eyes flaring with lust as he held my waist. One of my arms moved to sink my fingers into Brock’s hair. Damn, I couldn’t be anymore seductive even if I tried. My eyes lowered, my lips parted. As I moved my pelvis against Adam, I rolled my hips around to brush my ass against Brock's thickening shaft. His hands tightened on my waist, and I felt his lips on my hair by my nape.

  "What I wouldn't do to fuck you." His voice was muffled, and the music was loud around us, but I heard him. Shit, my lust had just made my inner thighs slick.

  I looked at Adam who seemed to enjoy watching us, and that turned me on. I liked being watched, and I liked watching. It was my...kink.

  But I didn't like being filmed. That was a hard limit.

  We danced some time to the tune of the indie music thrumming in our ears. At times we were out of synch with the song, more in tune with the primal beat of cock-pussy-cock synchronization.

  Suddenly, they stopped and pulled me gently away from the dance floor. Brock took the lead as we moved towards the back of the VIP section where there was a cordoned off area that said, ‘Members Only.' Adam guarded my rear in more ways than one. I lowered my eyes as I became the cynosure of almost everyone.

  "Hunter, do you think we have a sub?" Brock asked as soon as we reached the doorway. He seemed uncertain but pleased. In a gentler tone, he asked, "Simone, can I ask you a question? Answer us truthfully."

  I licked my lower lip and a rumble vibrated from Adam's chest to my arm. My body was hyperaware of the two men that I might just explode and scream my orgasm right there without them touching me. So I nodded, not trusting myself to speak, let alone squeak.

  "Why do you lower your eyes when we ask you a question?"

  "I just do." I shrugged. No way was I going to tell them my past was to blame. Just the thought started to agitate me.

  "It's okay, Sim." I jerked when I felt Adam's lips on my bare shoulder. I turned my head slightly to watch as his mouth moved against my skin. "You're safe with me. With us."

  I stiffened, froze as cold crept up from my feet, covering me like ice would do a pond, eliminating all warmth both men had just given me. The memory of couples in the near throes of ecstasy quickly lost its appeal. I moved away from Adam...from Brock. The shame of my past came and covered me with its cloak, dark, menacing, eerily comforting.

  "Simone..." Brock approached me, but I stepped back. He halted, looking in bewilderment at a serious-but-puzzled Adam. I turned away. Adam blocked my pass.

  "Please let me go," I whispered, the humiliation starting to cloud my vision. Shit! This wasn't happening...this wasn't happening. I felt the burn behind my eyes.

  I rounded Adam leaving them behind as I pushed my way saying ‘sorry’ and ‘excuse me’ as I made my way through the throng of people blocking my way out. My mouth cracked a smile even when all I wanted to do was curl into a ball. I hugged myself, no, more like covering myself from something which was so pleasurable yet so shameful.

  I heard my name being called. The faster I went the more hurried the steps were behind me. Panic was about to drown me.

  "Simone!"

  I stopped, inhaling sharply. I trembled the moment I felt and then smelled Brock. That warm, comforting smell of citrus and musk. He held me at the waist before facing me. I continued to look down as the tears I tried so hard to stop fell down my cheeks.

  "Shit, Simone. What did we do?" Brock asked, incredulous and even a little angry. People were looking at us now in earnest. I just wanted the floor to open and swallow me whole.

  "Leave it, Jordan," Adam said above the music that filtered out of the club as he continued to look at me. I thought he could see right through me. Right to the very depths of my black soul.

  "I have to get out. Please." I couldn't breathe. My windpipe was slowly choking me and my vision started to swim.

  "Simone." Adam's voice commanded me to look up. When I did, his jaw hardened in anger. Did he see the unreasonable panic that was letting the darkness close in on me?

  "Please, sir." I gasped. Then with all the strength I could muster from my sudden lethargy, I said one word I hoped he and Brock would understand.

  "Red."

  Chapter Four

  I didn't answer the knock on my door. I didn't say anything either. I didn't even have to move about my room for Dennis to make his way inside my sanctum. It was hot inside my bedroom. The windows were closed against the hot air and dry dust frequently passing through Karim. I didn't bother switching on the air conditioning because of the lethargy I felt. It was debilitating.

  Paralyzing.

  "Sweetheart, had I known you wanted to stay in the sauna room, I'd have set up one for you." Dennis shook his head in irritation. He switched on the air conditioning and soon cool air permeated my stuffy room.

  I remained silent, staring into space. After saying a safe word I knew subs said—even if I wasn't a sub—I fell. But I didn't ha
ve any bruises on my cheek or a bump on my head. I wasn't even sure who caught me— Adam or Brock.

  Dennis sat on the edge of my bed, removing the tendrils of sweat slicked hair from my face. He rubbed my arm and back.

  "You need to get out, you know."

  "I know." I didn't go to work the entire week after I fainted. It was now week two since the incident. Dennis gave me as much breathing space as I needed. Sleeping in the house of my boss had its privileges.

  Dennis sighed. "I shouldn't have forced you to go."

  "You didn't force me." I rolled on to my back looking up at the ceiling, my spine cracking into position after having been curled for so long. The cool air greedily licked at the trail of sweat on my neck. "I would've said no if I didn't think I could do it. Something just triggered it." The thought of Adam and Brock brought a yearning inside me I couldn't let go. How could innocent words trigger such a violent reaction from me? Like I had been brainwashed to flip.

  "Adam and Brock have been asking how you are." Dennis volunteered. "I couldn't get any peace in my office at the construction site because Brock kept coming in and disturbing my flow of concentration."

  "Be glad he didn't come in to see you peg someone."

  "Your mouth should be washed with soap and water," Dennis said with mock severity.

  I looked at him, my eyes crinkling. "I love you too." I paused. "What have they been saying?"

  "No one has been saying anything, Bettina," Dennis used his Dom voice. "Stop thinking that people are talking about you. No one does that here, especially in The Club or the place surrounding it."

  And there was the rub. I was terrified of people talking about me.

  "I told them you were resting and that you'd speak to them when you felt like it."

  "Shit, Den, you make me sound like a snob." I groaned, covering my eyes with my arm.

  Dennis playfully slapped my thigh. "Don't worry. They'll get over it."

  "Dennis!"

  "What?" He laughed. "If they like you, they'll hound you." The bed bounced as his Dennis' butt left the mattress. "Besides, it's not my place to tell." He paused. "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

  "About what?"

  "What happened."

  My eyes glazed at the memory. "There's nothing to tell."

  “Okay,” he said, skepticism written all over his handsome face.

  I went to work that week like a bat going to hell. Cold calls to prospective investors and buyers of the houses and condominiums Dennis had yet to build became my saving grace. The mundane became an oasis. By the end of the week, I had eight potential buyers who made offers in under twenty-four hours from my call. They hadn't even been to Karim, let alone see the place they were buying.

  Today was the second Friday since my foray into The Club.

  "I'm going to the Club after I wrap up this last meeting."

  "Not wearing your Dom suit?" I quipped, watching him amble to the door.

  Dennis' eyes twinkled. "I'm going to try switching."

  "No shit!" I sat up.

  "Yes, shit." He winked before closing the door behind him.

  Dennis couldn't be a switch. He just couldn't. He was too much of a control freak to even contemplate subbing. This was something I had to see. But then, I was torn. I wasn't sure if I was ready to go back. Besides, I wasn't a member. That solved it, though I'd have to forgo seeing my best friend submit to someone.

  I heard the door close with finality once Dennis left, entombing me once more. I lay back for God-only-knew how long. I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes, it was dusk. My stomach grumbled. I was sweating buckets, and my bed was soaked despite the air conditioning. I made a mental note to let Dennis know the appliance might not be working. Grimacing, I got out of bed and pulled the sheets off to bring to the washer together with my shorts and tee. I padded naked to the bathroom and ran the shower, groaning as the cool water ran down my heated skin. I didn't wear underwear when I was at home. I used to walk around buck naked before the incident. Now, something stopped me. Even with Dennis. But since no one was inside the apartment, I allowed myself that one penchant.

  Feeling more human and too lazy to whip up something in the kitchen, I dressed in a simple broderie anglaise dress, grabbed my purse and headed to the restaurants. The hot wind scratched at my face and skin leaving me to sweat again once I stopped walking. The open-holed lace allowed the breeze to cool my body through the cotton shift. The toe post sandals I wore made me feel as though I didn't have any shoes at all. I felt free because this was me.

  I was in the middle of deciding between Gio's and Sicily, two restaurants Dennis and I went to often when I heard someone calling a woman's name. I frowned. Really that woman should have heard them by now the way they kept calling her name.

  Someone touched my arm.

  "Simone! Jesus, we've been calling you."

  I turned around, startled before my face broke into a smile. What were the odds that I'd diss myself?

  "Hey." I smiled, happy to see Adam and Brock even after what happened. They were dressed more casually tonight. Adam was wearing jeans and an open neck shirt exposing his throat. I had this sudden urge to lick it. Taste the saltiness of his skin. Brock wore a branded sports shirt tucked into khakis. It emphasized the narrowness of his waist and the flatness of his abs.

  "Are you okay?" Brock reached out and squeezed my upper arm in concern. In the early evening, I saw that his green eyes had flecks of hazel. "How have you been? We’ve been asking Dennis about you."

  "So I heard."

  "We hoped that you'd return to The Club," Adam said. "When you didn't," he looked at Brock, his brow puckered. "Did we do something wrong? When you said, red --"

  "It had nothing to do with you, with both of you," I answered quickly. “Honest.”

  "Simone, I don't mean to pry. From the brief moments we had, you can tell that we're attracted to you. But we never asked if you were into having two men at the same time." Adam began. "Was that it? That we just assumed that you’d like us both at the same time? Because we must have done something to make you just shut down. If we did, we apologize."

  A sliver of exasperation and worry trickled down my spine. Their faces were filled with concern and truth be told, I didn't expect that from two strong, handsome men who turned heads wherever they went. I wasn't ready to tell them, yet I was raring to get fucked by them.

  "Believe me, it had nothing to do with you two. Are you hungry?" I said instead looking at the restaurants’ façades. "I've been trying to decide which restorant to go to."

  Brock sighed and looked away. Adam just nodded, his lips flattening.

  "Look, you don't have to go with me," I said. "I can't accept your apology because there's nothing to apologize for." I expelled a breath. "I'm hungry. I just don't want to talk about why that happened to me."

  "Tell us, are you into this kind of kink?" Brock asked. "Having two men want you at the same time?"

  Is the midnight sky black? Geez.

  "I wouldn't have joined you both in the booth or asked you to dance if I wasn't into both of you,” I said, relenting. “There are just still things that I’m not ready to tell you."

  "Then we can't move forward," Brock said. This time, his voice was deep, serious. It was different from his melting chocolate, burn-my-panties voice. He looked at me, his face expressionless. "Call me pushy because dammit, I couldn't get my mind off you these last few days." He shook his head looking away at a distance before turning back to me. "But trust and honesty are paramount for me and Adam. I believe that it’s the same for you. There can’t be any secrets among us if we want something to happen. Your call."

  Chapter Five

  I couldn't blame Adam and Brock for how they felt. Dennis had told me the same thing once when we had our serious convos. He told me of his exploits but only because I asked and the answers he gave me left room for me to think if what he was saying was either the truth or hyperbole. When I tried digging further
, my best friend would clam up.

  "Why don't you join me for dinner and afterwards, if I still can't find it in me to tell you, we go our separate ways. How does that sound?" My proposition seemed simple enough, and I was sure I would regret it if I didn't get a chance to go to bed with them. That and not being able to go to The Club would likely be one of my greatest disappointments.

  They fell silent, looking at each other. Brock shrugged.

  "Which restaurant did you have in mind?" Adam asked, dropping the subject much to my surprise.

  "Sicily," I blurted.

  His mouth pulled up slightly. "Sicily it is then."

  The restaurant was cool in contrast to the heat outside. Red checked tablecloth covered age old wooden tables. On top of each table were solitary candles with wax melting in the heat of the flame. Giuseppe, the proprietor, greeted us warmly and ushered us to a table to the back of the restaurant were fronds created a natural barrier from the rest of the patrons. Adam ordered a platter of oysters and a bottle of champagne leaving me without any doubt as to what was on their mind. Problem was, I still wasn't so sure about myself. Still, if anyone had ever experienced being with two fuckable men who undressed their prey with their eyes, this was it. It was me. I squirmed in my seat only too aware that my pussy was responding. Adam and Brock, on the other, hand casually ate oysters and sipped their drinks.

  "Eat," Adam said. He held a shell in his fingers, bringing it to my lips, and offering me the succulent meat. His voice was strong and soothing at the same time. I opened my mouth as Adam tilted the shell's contents. The taste of the sea, lemon and salt burst inside my mouth. The oyster's silky texture made it easily slide down my throat. A drop of its juice slid down the side of my mouth. My hand shot up to catch it, but Adam's forefinger swiped at it first before bringing the droplet into his mouth. His dark eyes crinkled, and his sexy grin made me feel giddy.

  "Good girl."

  "Thank you." That came unbidden. Two words both showing appreciation at his gesture and elation at being praised. "What do you do? I've not seen you both in Karim considering it's still a small town."